He Ascended into Target...

Late afternoon on a brisk Easter Sunday in Columbia Heights, Washington DC: The new Target store closed early today, what with Christ's ascending to Heaven and all.

Of course we didn't realize the store would be closed early (truly, the Messaiah wouldn't have left Earth without tube-socks and Pepsodent), so we arrived to see the carts wandering in a daze, outside the locked doors. The giant, illuminated Target logo stared out over the carts like a huge eye.

Meanwhile, the carts puttered nervously. Wondering what to do. Where to go.

Nobody is here. Nobody is pushing us around, stuffing toasters and throw-pillows and bulk boxes of chicken corn-dogs inside our gaping plastic mouths...

Poor dears. They know nothing of this "ascended Christ" person. They have heard of an "Easter Bunny" though, but have yet to see it, or to experience its healing touch.

Perhaps THAT would be a god more befitting this brave new world of chocolate, diapers, credit cards, and dreams? I've seen him hanging around the bar...at the Wonderland Ballroom... His name is Harvey, I believe...

VA Beach 1: Cancer of the Elvis

Weirdness. After all the wedding-related business, we had an extra day before returning to DC. We walked a bit along the Virginia Beach boardwalk before retreating to the woods for some quiet & shade. The woods were a magnificent thing, but that's a later post.


First, we need to clear the air from all this Elvis. SOMEONE PLEASE explain to me the connection between Virginia Beach and Elvis.


We reached the beach just in time for an obscene parade of Elvisian Effigies, both human and inflatable. I felt I had gone magnificently insane.