His name is Bruce. Bruce is a Totally Inanimate Stone Dragon Thing. Bruce was liberated from a fabulous junkshop on Georgia Avenue. He guards the house. He is most awesome. He is Bruce. And he knows it. And Bruce is hungry.
The braided beef stick will be the prize in this battle of wills between Gomez and his new arch-nemesis, Bruce the Totally Inanimate Stone Dragon Thing.
Gomez has spotted his arch-nemesis, Bruce the Totally Inanimate Stone Dragon Thing, and suspects his braided beef stick is at risk of imminent thievery!
Gomez plays it cool as Bruce (the Totally Inanimate Stone Dragon Thing) approaches menacingly, fangs drooling with anticipation for the taste of that braided beef stick. This will indeed be an earth-shattering smackdown of biblical proportions!
The two combatants study each other, weighing potential weaknesses, flexing muscles, steeling nerves for battle. The braided beef stick will be the prize, and there can only be one winner in this contest.
ARGH!!! In an unexpected blitz manoever, Bruce the Totally Inanimate Stone Dragon Thing rapidly seizes the braided beef stick from the rubbery mouth of Gomez. Bruce wields the beef stick with a champion's arrogance, but will the victory last?!?!?!
NO! The victory is short-lived, as Gomez takes advantage of the swaggering pause and reclaims his braided beef stick from his arch-nemesis, Bruce the Totally Inanimate Stone Dragon Thing.
....and then, having won the battle, Gomez reclines with his prized braided beef stick, as Bruce (the Totally Inanimate Stone Dragon Thing) retreats to his post, to guard the house without the benefit of beef sticks.
.........Honestly, the nerve of some Totally Inanimate Stone Dragon Things.